Added: Dorothea Searles - Date: 02.12.2021 20:19 - Views: 37656 - Clicks: 7929
As winter's cruel, icy grip descends upon us, it is once again time to forget any summertime delusions you had about "meeting someone organically, you know, like at a party or volunteering or something," and dust off your online dating profile. Yes, the annual event known as " cuffing season" is in full swing. But while you're endlessly laboring to find the perfect words to describe yourself, your interests, and the potential mate whom you hope will eventually prevent you from dying alone, others are not so devoted.
In fact, dating sites are packed with eerily similar profiles, full of vague phrases that somehow make you feel like you know even less about the profile than you did before you read it. What exactly constitutes "living in the moment"? What does it mean to have "no time for drama"? What is truly going on inside the hearts and minds of the online dating hordes? I can't believe I'm actually on a dating site : My younger sister is getting married. Can you believe this shit?
She's only known that guy for, like, what, six months?!
I have a hard time believing that'll work out in the end, honestly. But fine, she's an adult, she can do whatever she wants!
My best friend put me up to this : Dating partner in crime best friend has no idea that I am on here. And if I do meet someone on here, I am going to tell her that we met at Crossfit class. I'm a bit of a nerd : I am trying to scare off any dudes whose profiles are all about how they "love to go hiking. I take advantage of everything life has to offer : I have a lot of credit card debt from my early 20s. I don't have time for drama : The mere fact that I am bringing up "drama" out of the blue right here means that I have literally endless amounts of time for all kinds of drama, from reading your texts, to "accidentally" typing a complaint about you to you over Gchat, and then pretending that I meant to send it to someone else.
I like to be both silly and serious : Someone who can keep up with my mood swings — and also maybe just think Dating partner in crime them as charming quirks, like we're in Days of Summer or something? I live in the moment : Okay, fine, I am still racking up a little more credit card debt right now.
But what was I supposed to do, not buy that machine that makes little bowls out of bacon? I mean, I could use that to start a home business! It's an investment in my future! Let's explore this amazing city together : I just moved here and know literally no one. I have an awesome publicity job : One that keeps me at work until 11 p. I'm good at random stuff : Refreshing Twitter over and over, wondering why no one favorited my joke that was a wordplay on "potato skins. Damn you all! I like Game of Thrones : I either genuinely like Game of Thronesor I heard that everyone else likes Game of Thrones and thought that would be more palatable than admitting to what I actually watch Nancy Grace and anything on ABC Family about an orphan who changes someone's life.
I couldn't live without family, friends, my cat, coffee, my iPhone, running : I am either not willing to share any actual personal information on this profile, or I thought it would scare off potential suitors if I was honest and just wrote "leather sex swing" six times.
Message me Dating partner in crime I'll tell you what I Dating partner in crime a lot of time thinking about" : I have no idea what this question is even supposed to mean. Sex, I guess? There's no such thing as a typical Friday night for me : This is because I spend pretty much every Friday night on an OkCupid date, doing some dumb "kooky" date activity that no one actually likes, like going to the aquarium or painting our own pottery or getting a 2-for-1 colonic because I found a Groupon for it.
I love trying new things : But still, I can't wait to try some dumb "kooky" date activities with you! Did somebody say "home kombucha brewing workshop"?? I'm as comfortable going and drinking beers as I am staying home and having a Netflix marathon : I can't wait until I have someone to date and never have to go out on a Friday night ever again.
But I'm mostly pretty low-key : Sometimes I pretend that I did not get my stomach pumped, and act like I don't Dating partner in crime know what you're talking about when you bring it up. Looking for a partner in crime : aka a person who will accompany me to my younger sister's wedding in two months. Or does it mean that "random stuff" is code for a sex act too foul to describe in this publication?
We may never know, gentle reader. But I'd guess that it's probably the sex one.
By Gabrielle Moss.Dating partner in crime
email: [email protected] - phone:(622) 613-9289 x 1551
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