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By Chris Seiter. Those are just a few of the feelings you may experience after finding your ex on a dating website and now you want to know what to do about it. Luckily for you, we are going to talk about what you should and should not do in this situation and what it means when you find your ex in the online dating world. But before going any further, the one thing you should ask yourself is, do I have a chance?
Too often, I hear of people visiting our website, getting excited about the content, trying to get their ex back, and failing. This is simply because they never stopped to consider what chance they had of getting their ex back. By taking two minutes to complete our Ex Recovery Chances Quiz, you could save yourself Finding your ex on a dating website lot of time by determining your chances first.
I wanted to add something new to the conversation, so I went to my one resource to find a relevant topic — our private Ex Recovery Program Facebook support Finding your ex on a dating website. This group is full of people going through our program, who are having a difficult time getting their exes back. Lately I have noticed a huge uptick in the of questions in this group posted from women who have discovered their exes on dating websites.
When we pulled the aggregated data relating to this topic from our private Facebook support group, four dating websites surfaced as the most common websites for exes to dabble in online dating:. Well, believe it or not, it is normal behavior for your ex to explore online dating after a breakup.
As difficult as seeing your ex on a dating website may be, there are a few rules that you should follow to make sure this emotional situation does not get the better of you. We see this occur often in our private Facebook group, especially if someone believes their relationship was truly special with their ex. They cannot believe their ex would stain the memory of their relationship by ing a dating website and going on a date with someone new. What these clients do not stop to realize is that by reaching out to shame their ex about ing a dating website, they are actually making themselves appear petty, desperate, and super insecure.
If you ever want your ex back, breaking this rule will only create more difficulty to making this goal a reality. The second most common sentiment I hear from clients relates to the difficulty they experience when thinking about their ex dating someone new. Oftentimes it is in the middle of the No Contact Rule when you will learn that your ex is dating someone new. The fact that communication is on hold when you find out your ex is dating someone new or even sleeping with someone new only intensifies these feelings. The more you think about it, the more you struggle with even Finding your ex on a dating website your ex in a new romantic relationship.
In my experience, there are two ways to handle your emotions when you learn your ex is in a new relationship. Ultimately, I think you need to do both if you want to effectively manage these feelings, while also maximizing your chances of attracting your ex back. When I was preparing this article, I noticed a comment by a woman in our private Facebook support group who was struggling with thoughts of her ex going on a date with someone new after she found him on Tinder.
Get on Tinder! Or another dating app. I find it amusing when I suggest that a client Tinder or another dating website to sharper their skills and they kind of roll their eyes, politely concede, but then never do it.
More often than not, their ex also starts to pay attention when they see my client on Tinder or another dating website. I make it a point to personally interview client success stories to gather the details and find out what worked well for them. In fact, in the past three days, I conducted three hour-long interviews with women who got their exes back.
The successful clients often possess a confidence or strong belief that they will be OK even if they do not get their ex back. In fact, many times, these clients give up on entirely on trying to get their ex back. That is when their ex usually starts to pay attention. The more I noticed this pattern, the more intentional I became about asking our coaching clients about this confidence mindset.
In the next three weeks, I plan to release one of these success stories each week on my podcast. In each interview, I asked the client what she thought about this concept of having a confidence mindset, if she possessed it, and if she thought it led to getting her ex back. In other words, could they have pretended they were indifferent to losing the guy when they really were not? While you could possibly start out by faking this belief, it would eventually need to become an internalized belief.
Knowing that is what makes you stronger. Now a lot of the people who are reading this article likely do not possess this mentality, because success truly boils down to confidence. Another big question that I hear from women all of the time relates to confidence and how women can increase their confidence. This layer includes anything relating to appearance, including how you look, what you are sharing on social media, and what other people are saying about you.
The Surface Layer is the most superficial. But what we are aiming for is Finding your ex on a dating website necessarily the Surface Layer. A deep layer of confidence that transcends how you look or even how you are perceived by other people. This is the most difficult confidence to achieve and yet it is the most difficult type of confidence to explain. Now obviously most women wonder how I do I get that internal layer of confidence? Well, in my experience there are two ways.
Think of it like this, if you work a lot on your lifestyle and Surface Layer of Confidence, that will naturally just trickle down and create Internal Confidence. But this will not create Internal Confidence alone.
You will also need to face and accept your greatest fears. This week, I am working on this concept with a coaching client. Success, as I mentioned, comes from developing this Internal Confidence Layer. When she asked me how to develop this layer, I suggested that she set aside 10 to 15 minutes every day for meditation and visualization. Lock yourself in a room, close your eyes, and imagine your greatest fear. Imagine your ex saying he hates you; he is never going to get back with you and you will never have a chance. Imagine doing everything right and failing. Then imagine yourself confidently getting up and walking away from your ex.
Maybe imagine that after you get up and walk away, he starts begging for you to come back to him, but you say no. In other words, imagine you going from rags to riches. Ultimately, the more you engage in visualizing yourself going through your worst-case scenario and emerging on the other side OK, the better off you will become. You are building that internal layer of confidence.
What may have begun as a ritual exercise Finding your ex on a dating website become your mantra. Ten to fifteen minutes of motivational exercise every day. The more you visualize your worst fears coming true and you being ok, the stronger you will become.
Soon you will not be focusing on your ex being on a dating website. You will not be focusing on your ex dating some other girl or sleeping with some other girl. You will be focusing on your own personal growth and, by cultivating your own Internal Confidence, you will truly know that you will be OK. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. I saw him on d same dating site that we met.
He went thru my profiles the first week… And went thru it the second week again… But still. There is no of us coming back together.
Note that m in the no- contact rule…. Hi Annie, many people get their ex back, and many go on to dating sites to try and distract themselves from the emotions that they are feeling from the break up even if they wanted it to end. Making Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous. Success Stories. The No Contact Rule. The Podcast.
What Your Ex Says Vs. What They Really Mean. By Chris Seiter Updated on May 3rd, Shock, hurt, and anger. Take the quiz. What to Read Next. Has He Moved On? By Chris Seiter 0 comments. Annie June 30, at pm. Popular posts 1. Recent posts 12 Jul.Finding your ex on a dating website
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My Ex Is On A Dating Site Already And I Don’t Know What To Do!