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We may have moved backwards altogether, or wound up scratching our he confounded. Because you see, it is far easier to speak in the theoretical, draw out far-flung allusions, and do just about anything but directly address the concern. At least to be true to genuine millennial style, that is how it would have to be. Millennials have grown up typically getting what they want, how they want it, and in prime time. Control is a key word that provides more comfort than concern to them. This may in part explain their utter frustrations when coming upon brick walls and rubble in the dating landscape.
It is interesting to note that millennials have been exposed to greater dating diversity and acceptance of different lifestyles than generations. However, they were still brought up by more conservative generations. Just recall the old TGIF television line-up of family friendly viewing. Usually it was boy meet girl. Boy asks girl out. They date. He gives her What does go steady mean in a relationship letterman jacket or class ring. Obviously this was a highly heterosexist scenario that was played out time and again. As my therapy clients often struggle with understanding what to make of different relationships, I too find myself struggling beside them trying to make sense of their stories and concerns.
The television storyline today looks much different. Boy meets girl or boy.
How two individuals may find themselves in an exclusive dating relationship with one another is often the great mystery. Actually, I jest here, but not entirely. It makes sense then that putting themselves out there to ask someone out can seem terrifying.
Often young women will decide to take matters in their own hands and turn the tables of the waiting game altogether. And yet, young men and women alike still seem to find themselves lost in inaction. Is there hope for millennials? As the marriage age rises, and the dating waters continue to look murky, it may seem hopeless.
But what was it that Rihanna said about finding love in a hopeless place? While I sometimes wish I could hand my clients a dating rubric with suggested timelines of when to advance from one stage to another, this only reinforces their controlling tendencies. Though control may feel safe, it may ultimately keep them from embracing the beauty in small bits of spontaneity and seeing where life will take them.
Put down the phone and the henny, log off Facebook, step into a well-lit location with natural airflow, extend your hand, and introduce yourself with authenticity. Be genuine and be good. Kindness never takes anything away from you. Goal Auzeen Saedi, Ph. Goali Saedi Bocci Ph. Millennial Media. Have millennials' gadgets paved the way for dating woes and hook-ups?
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“Going Steady” — Are You Ready to be Exclusive?